…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

More and more choices….

Well last night Dad dropped a bomb.

Apparently the agreement for college wasn’t that he would only pay for one year (which got extended to two on account of the fact that I got accepted half way through the year). I thought this was the deal, and after that I would have to pay for it myself because I didn’t just get a completely free ride.

As a result, I’d always figured that once that time ran out, I’d have to leave college. Because as much as I love it there, I can’t afford to pay for it myself, and even if I could I would not pay that money for college. I would use it for travel. I’d save it. Even though I love college, if it came down to a choice between travel and college, I’d pick the worldly experiences.

Soooooooooooo….. This changes everything.

Before, I knew that this coming semester would be my last at college – the last thing holding me in the city. Once college was no longer an option, rather than torture myself by continuing Uni (something that I’m not enjoying at the moment) whilst moving back home (something else that I don’t really enjoy at all), I would instead fulfil my need to leave that place and instead get out to see some of the world. I was planning to leave at the end of the semester to go to either Canada or the USA to do a snowboard instructor internship – I pay to do the course and at the end of it there is a guaranteed job working with them. It sounded brilliant and if I wanted to do that, I really needed to jump onto that boat now before all the spots are taken. However, the ski season goes through until April – May sometimes…. and university starts in March.

Hence, I wouldn’t be able to stay the whole time… although I would maybe be able to get in 3 months worth of snowboarding time there… except 5 weeks of it is the training… so it’s just less than 2 months of actual work and I don’t think I’d earn enough in that time frame to even come away from it balanced – i think i will have spent more than I would have made. Which is shit.

But at least I’d be qualified to go across again the following season… when I will have almost have finished my degree.

The thing is, Dad’s hopes were apparently that I wouldn’t take a gap year at all and that I would just go through and do the rest of my degree in one hit – get it done and out of the way. And he would pay for me to be at college for that (of course I don’t think he’s aware that I’m actually at uni for an extra semester that a normal arts degree)… And I take my Dad’s hopes really seriously. Because I don’t want to dispaoint him. There’s honestly very few things that I can think of that would be worse than disapointing Dad. And I don’t want to.

So I guess now it comes down to this semester – If by the end of this semester I think I can hack it and I can finish my degree in one shot, then I will do it. But if I’m still desperate for that time away, well there’s no point in wasting either Dad’s or my money.

On the bright side, at least this means that I could do the shakespeare courses coming up next year in first semester.I’ve been looking forward to them and was so annoyed that I would miss them if I went away. I love shakespeare. And Arts courses are on a rotational once every two years sort of thing.

Anyways, I’m off to bed now. I’m fucking knackered, it’s just past 1am and there’s a spider crawling around on the desk somewhere at the moment… and my lack of knowing of it’s precise whereabouts is kind of freaking me out at the moment…

So it’s goodnight time and I shall write again tomorrow (perhaps) haha.

xx

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June 22, 2010 Posted by | college, ESCAPE!, family, observation, Personal, Travel, university | Leave a comment