…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

Fighting + Ha Long Bay + DINGUSSSSS!

I forgot to write about how the other day (Sunday night I’m pretty sure) Dom and I ended up having what started as a simple conversation in bed about what was wrong because something had been off that day, and ended up as a mass scale fight resulting in me getting out of bed and sleeping on the floor. The later scale of the fight was all happening just before and around 3am complete with yelling and everything. Dom losing his patience and temper and me just getting upset, giving up and eventually just telling him that he was always mean and I couldn’t put up with it anymore – because he was and is one of the very few people that I won’t fight with. I just give up to save effort because its honestly just SO exhausting and he’s so stubborn that it never gets anywhere. I also told him that him telling me what I’m doing/saying/acting doesn’t make me see he side or convince me in the slightest to do what he is asking (at the time he was trying to get me back into the bed rather than sleeping on the floor by abusing me and telling me I was being stupid… Ok well the move of sleeping on the floor wasn’t exactly smart but he didn’t make getting back into bed an option with his tone of voice and the things he was saying).

Anyways, we ended up sorting out that little spat. I stopped crying after a bit and he held me until I was calm. I love it when he holds me – and that will be the biggest thing I miss at night time. I can forgo the sex easily. Anyways, I think the result was that I was going to stay and that we wouldn’t be “just friends”, we would be more, but at the same time we wouldn’t be quite what we used to be – we’d never get that back.

Since then Dom has been more “touchy feely” and just doing the simple things like brushing my back or touching my shoulder when we’re sitting down. He doesn’t do those things normally, because he’s really not a touchy feely kind of guy, so I don’t know what changed that. I don’t know if it was the conversation that night or if we’re just getting along better. I honestly don’t know. Maybe it’s that Phoebe and his emails have been going downhill/stopped/hit a brick wall. I honestly don’t know but it makes me soooo happy and allows me to fool myself a lot easier about him still caring for me…. Even if one of the things covered the other night WAS the fact that he does not love me romantically anymore at all – ie he’s not in love with me – but that he loves me as in he cares for me. Sort of like how you can care for and love a best friend I guess. I dunno.

I dunno.

Anyways, yesterday we got up ridiculously early, after basically no sleep the night before because of shitty half sleep dreaming and then my stomach fucking up, as per usual, so I get jittery and can’t sit still. So, I got up and sat in the bathroom eating a cheese sandwich and drinking apple juice whilst listening to my iPod and writing the ‘Eclipse’ episode blog post. With roughly 2 hours of shitty half sleep and half an hour of dozing under my belt, we got up and finished last minute packing to head downstairs for the only free breakfast we’ve actually bothered with at our hotel and waiting for the bus to come collect us for Ha Long Bay. Of course, at just past 6am that morning it had started to fucking PISS down with rain – the day that we decided to travel to Ha Long Bay and beaches.

Sick one Vietnam.

So, when the bus rocked up 50 minutes late, we were escorted to it with many umbrellas dashing backwards and forwards with us, but essentially doing nothing. We crammed in (Dom crammed more so than myself considering I’m smaller and more bendable into weird positions on busses). Thus began our slow journey out of Hanoi where apparently they haven’t discovered the modern wonders of street drains (the streets were fucking flooded – no exaggeration cars were buried in water in some areas and mottos were absolutely useless). A number of hours and many pathetic attempts at little naps later, we arrived at the porting area for the big junker boats that heavily populate Ha Long Bay for tourism.

We sat there for almost an hour while Dingus (the overly cheery and stereotype Asian dorky type tour guide who we quickly nicknamed for his incompetence and pure nerve straining annoyingness) finally managed to secure us a boat – that’s right they don’t actually organise one until you get there despite you being booked into an actual tour group. SO we boarded onto a stupid tiny tin boat that would transport us to where it was anchored a couple of hundred metres away. The shitty little transport was of course broken (like everything else in Vietnam) and the tarp over the side we sat was ripped all the way along. Thanks to that, we continued to be sprinkled with the light rain adding to the ridiculous humidity, and then when we finally reached the boat and thought it was over, it sloshed all the roof water down through the rip and out of the whole row of people it landed on lucky ‘ol me. There’s nothing I don’t love more than some dirty roof water. It’s just sooooooo awesome -_-

But nevertheless, we were on board finally and sailing into the bay amongst the islands. Turns out we were dealt a bad hand for the rooms – both Matt and Kristie, and Dom and I got the shittiest smallest cabins I’m fairly sure. Well, I can safely say, they were definitely nothing like the one I had in February when I was here last time. And to top it off, at this time of the year – the hottest – to save on electricity bills they don’t turn on the aircon until night time, which is most definitely not something they specified before the tour, nor enforced last time in February. Oh and did I mention they turn it off at 5.30 in the morning? So, you get to wake up at 7am or earlier in a sweltering mess of disgusting heat and sweat. They could at least leave it running until 7.30 when we were told we had to be up by for breakfast. DO THE DECENT THING VIETNAM! And to think we paid US$98 for this trip (well US$100 if you count the $2 per person bribe to the bus driver to take us straight to the hotel rather than waiting 2+ hours for the others to get back from hiking).

So, now we’re holed up in our hotel rooms on this god forsaken island acting like the tired and rude westerner tourists that I so hate. But I’m that exhausted and sick of this that I have been reduced to this horrifying behaviour. We even paid an extra US$10 each in order to go to the supposedly “better” hotel. I’m perplexed as to what could possibly be better about this one though – the service is poor, the air con is crap, our room has such a strong musty smell that’s making me have hay fever, and my butt is currently trying to tell me that I’d probably be a lot more comfortable sitting and sleeping on the wooden floor rather than the bed – it’s that shit! I’ll be fucked if I know how I’m going to sleep on it tonight, so here’s to the third night in a row of no/shit sleep.

And I forewent going for the “itinery” specified trip to Monkey Island to sit inside with the blinds drawn and attempt to relax. I’m still yet to see such an itinery, and we were never told that even was one. I know it completely defeats the purpose of being in another country to do this, and paying good money to go on a tour, but I’m that exhausted and fed up that I care very little.

Today at lunch Dom asked Kristie and I if we would enjoy traveling here more if we weren’t with them and their constant pessimism/complaining. I pointed out that there was no way I would even be here if it wasn’t for them – I didn’t come here for the country, I came to see them. That’s it. Because I said to myself after my tour here in Feb that I would be more than happy if I never ever returned to Vietnam. I had made up my mind long ago that I hated this country and it’s people and I warned the boys that it was shit (but they had to experience it for themselves, and now that they have, they completely agree). I mean sure, traveling with these guys makes Vietnam seem that little bit worse, but I don’t care about that because I already hate the country. I travel with them because its them that I love hanging out with – simply sitting there eating a meal is hilarious with them and forcing them to watch shitty movies like Mama Mia becomes comedy central. That’s why I came (and why I’m still here despite everything that has happened.

Anyways, the M&Ms have just run out and Dom has already commented on how freaking long this is twice already. So I shall leave it here for today and maybe see what other shitty McShit movies are on offer at the moment on TV.

I never thought I’d say it, because I hate this country so much, but I can’t wait to get back to Hanoi.

(Although I’d prefer to be in Wanaka at the moment… *sigh* if only)

Xin Chao.

I’m outee for now.

July 14, 2010 Posted by | confusing!!, emotions, experiences, idiotic, love, Personal, Vietnam Trip with the Boys, Vietnam Trip with the Boys | Leave a comment

Joy Flight To The Moon On Sale For $100M ! What A BARGAIN!

Well I’ve sort of neglected this blog for a long time of late. I’ve been busy and I suppose I’ve not really had much to whine about like usual.

But I just saw this travel and adventure site called Adrenalin. I’ve been looking up quite a few sites like this of recent but this one here made me laugh quite immensely. You can click on adrenalin adventures to space it seems and the comical part isn’t just that you can take a voyage to the moon for $100,000,000.00 but that there is a ‘buy now’ button right next to the trip. 

It’s so incredibly stupid because how many people just happen to have a spare $100 million lying around to blow on a casual joy flight. Even for the people that do have that kind of money, they wouldn’t exactly be sitting on the internet and clicking ‘buy now’ – chances are they’d have their assistants assistant organising it for them or something. 

I just love the ridiculousness of it all.

November 29, 2009 Posted by | bored, experiences, fun, idiotic, just a quick note | Leave a comment

Procrastination and over thinking things…

I think I may have a small problem when it comes to guys… I’m beginning to notice a trend, which I really don’t like and don’t want to be true at all. I’ve noticed lately that I seem to have an attraction to guys that I eventually find out are already taken. Of course, with my Boss I knew he was in a relationship before the crush developed, so that was an exception. But is it purely coincidence that as soon as he was almost available I moved on from the 3 year long obsession? I cannot ignore the fact that there were certain events which culminated in me moving on, and I’m sure that I’m just trying to connect this up to fit my new trend. That’s the way the mind works after all – piecing things together to fit into new theories that can scare ourselves.

It’s not only my boss though. At my first tutorial for second year creative writing, the first guy that I met was slightly older than me, but nice nonetheless. I know it sounds foolish, but I felt like there was a connection between us, and since then it has been 3 hours every Tuesday of watching out the corner of my eyes for when he stares at me, or me listening intently to what he says. At the first tutorial, I hadn’t noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring on his finger, but the next week I did. While he was talking, he mentioned briefly something about wanting to write about the last year that he spent in Africa with his wife. As he said this, he looked straight at me… and yet I know he stares too. It’s even stranger because of not only that, but I think he also slightly reminds me of my boss. He’s been in the army, he’s buff, and he’s been the state champion at hang gliding for the last 5 years. Amazing no?

However, two’s not enough is it? Another example: the first guy that I met from my college. Last year at a party I met a small group of people from my college at a party of a mutual friend who goes to another college. I was instantly drawn to him and out of the few people I had met from the college that night, he was the one that had stuck in my memory and the only one I had thought ‘”what if…?” about. I had looked forward to seeing him again when I came to college, but alas, he has a steady girlfriend who he has been with for over a year now. She also lives here at the college. As it is, I’m fairly sure he’s a bit of a play boy, playing the girls for all he’s worth… even though he’s supposedly officially a one woman man these days. But for some reason I still feel that connection, attraction and I suppose to some extent even some envy of his girlfriend.

The worst part is that I know that I don’t want to be that girl. The one that steals other people’s boyfriends, then gets bored with them and tosses them away. I don’t want to be the one that ruins relationships and lives – even if it’s the boyfriends decision and not mine like it was in the case of my Boss. I don’t want to be ‘the other woman’. In fact, I despise that. So why am I subconsciously sabotaging that and becoming my own worst enemy?

I think what it is that draws me to these fellas and other is the eyes. I look for a connection with people. When I look at someone and I can look into their eyes and actually see some depth in them, I feel a connection of sorts. I don’t know what it is. I know it sounds incredibly corny and childish, but I like to, I dunno, “fall into” someone’s eyes. I like to be able to search their eyes when something’s wrong and be able to find more depth than if I was looking into someone’s eyes that had nothing there – just blank and shallow eyes. Maybe I’m just attracted to guys who like secrets or are extremely emotional in a quiet and guarded way. They’re all intellectuals and hide a lot beneath the surface althought they fool most people… Maybe secretive and mysterious is my type. Someone who is smart and challenging. Someone that I can never quite figure out. maybe that’s it? Maybe, once I have them figured out and I have an opportunity to actually be with someone properly, maybe that’s when I start to get bored really quickly.

Who knows. Maybe I have a type. Maybe I don’t.

Wither way, it’s sad really.

August 26, 2009 Posted by | bored, idiotic, life, love, observation, people, procrastinating, secrets, trouble | 4 Comments

The Hangover

Okay, so I think I finally know what it’s like to have a full blown and horrible hang over – and it’s a bitch.

Went out with one of he managers from work last night because he hadn’t been out all weekend and was in need of some alcohol. So we went to this classy little bar not too far from where he lives. He opened a tab at the bar and kept the drinks coming all night. We were there from around 7.30 until they closed at 11pm. In that time I’m not sure how many cocktails I consumed, but it must have been a fuckload. By the end of the night, between the two of us, we had racked up a $366 tab to pay (which of course he insisted on paying). That was for all our drinks, about $50 of food (which was only two plates) and a couple of drinks he bought for a girl in the group that we randomly joined mid way through the night.

By the end of it I was supremely smashed and wasn’t walking straight. He dropped me back to my house, which so wouldn’t have been legal, but he was definitely more sober than I was. He’s a big guy – he can handle his drinks a lot better. When I got home my sister was there with her new love interest Andre. I feel so bad now because I would have totally ruined what would have otherwise probably been a good night for them. Now I’m not sure how I managed to convince them that I had to go home to college because I didn’t want to stay at my house. I have a very large suspicion that I may have cried at that point.

Whatever happened, I ended up crying for pretty much the entire car trip and then also when my sister was walking me from the car-park to my room at college. I feel so bad for her now. Andre probably thinks I’m so psycho-daisy-may that was having an exorcism performed on her in the back of the car or something. Probably put him right off coming to our house again. Apparently I introduced myself to him four times though, so at least he knows who I am.

I haven’t really talked to my sister since last night except for one text message saying “Do you remember anything from last night?” Although I think she’s probably pissed at me for ruining their night and for being a horrible representation of the family. I want to find out from her what I was saying whilst crying/if I said anything. I’m pretty sure I know what it was about. It’s always about the boys isn’t it. You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.

Anyways I got home and got to bed. This morning I woke at some ridiculously early hour with a positively banging headache and feeling queasy. After much tossing and turning, I decided it was the best idea to try and get rid of the contents of my stomach and did so gladly. I swear there were  things in there I wasn’t aware I had even consumed. It was there that I found my ring next to the toilet. I have absolutely no idea how it got there, as I have no recollection of throwing us last night and there’s no yack to be found anywhere in either my room or the bathroom. I still havent found my necklace, which I’m quite worried about actually. It;s a very expensive chain with antique pendants on it from my mum, dad, one from paris, thailand and one given to me by neighbours. So I really want to find that badly.

In the mean time I get to enjoy this lovely hangover and appreciate why it is people who feel like this say that hangovers make them want to die. It’s horrible. The only other times on memory that I have been like this was firstly after getting way to drunk from goon at the Arts sundowner at uni; and secondly after I got absolutely smashed with everyone from work and we all know how bad that one ended – I kissed a practically married man (my boss). So it’s not really great for me.

*added after posting* I just checked my emails to find one from Dom telling me to re read my email that I’d sent and to send it again when I was sober. At first I laughed because up until that point I thought I’d gotten away with not drunk emailing (as opposed to drunk texting), because I have absolutely no memory at all of sending it. So I was astounded (and sort of impressed) at the fact that I had somehow been able to turn on the computer and navigate my way to hotmail. Then I laughed even more when I read it:

” \us rharb honesslt ehat u eahnt> coz i woukd fucjin be yrs if u onlu askws u it….”

I mean seriously, kudos to me for getting some semblance of english out at the end there, but the beginning part is just plain gibberish to me. I laughed quite hard at first, then the reality hit me that I had to try and explain it. So a decent sized email back to Dom quickly followed saying sorry and explaining the truth about it. That was fun. But hey at least I’m being honest right?

August 3, 2009 Posted by | drunk/drinking, idiotic, life, love | Leave a comment

College Photos!

st georges college

Thought I’d start uploading some photos of my room and what my new college looks like. I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet that I’m living in a castle more or less (see above). It’s pretty amazing. Generally, so far the responses I’ve recieved from my friends has involved something to do with Hogwarts or Harry Potter. For us freshers, we’ve even decided there’s a token guy here who actually looks uncannily like Daniel Radcliff who plays Harry Potter in the films… We also have a guy with exactly the same straight red hair as Ron Weasley, but I’m yet to notice anyone particularly similar to Hermoine Granger.
 

St george's College

My Room Map Layout Design

Above is a really crappily drawn sketch of the layout of our suite. The girl that I’m sharing with (Holly) got the bigger front room (the room closest to the corridor and the inside of college), while I took the smaller outside room, which is further away from the noise of people walking past, but closer to the noise of our enemy college next door. The diagram is pretty simple and easy to understand I think. I have to walk through Holly’s room every time I come into our place because the front door is the one in her room. On the same token, Holly has to walk through my room every time in order to get to the bathroom. I think i got the better end of the deal really though…

my room  P7160414  bathroom yeehhhhh

Yes obviously it’s very important that you get to see the toilet in our bathroom. No, the point is the fact that we actually got a pretty darn nice bathroom and it’s actually clean, unlike the other communal one I saw yesterday in the South Wing. My room looks quite big and empty in the picture because I took it right after I’d finished unpacking the first lot of things so not only is it neat, but i also had brought some more things with me yet. Now there are books and clothes everywhere, and on the right side of the desk there is a makeshift bookshelf-like thing for my Uni books which I have added along with a stereo. Still hoping to get a bean bag for the other side of the desk seeing as the chair that was there was stolen on Day One.

I’m really liking staying here so far – the food is much nicer than I was expecting, our bathroom is nice seeing as we’re in a guest room and only two of us share it, the people are all really nice, and it’s fun… of course there’s also the fact that it’s closer to Uni and I convenient from that side of things… but that’s not as important. 😛

Last night (the last night before Uni started again), there was a party down at the cottage at college (the cottage is the old gardener’s house at the edge of college that is now inhabited by 3 guys staying here). It was an excuse for everyone to get drunk altogether really, but it was fun nonetheless. As sad as it is, I’m much, much more outgoing and confident when I’ve had a drink or two, so I’ve been hoping for an opportunity such as this since I arrived here. Last night I definately got that opportunity (and took very good use of it). I drank my own vodka and once that ran out, I convinced some of the older 4th year boys to give me alcohol. So I got 5 shots off them (and made them do the shots as well). I ended up rather drunk to say the least and I was very happy. However, inebriation really doesn’t help the process involved with remembering over 130 names and faces. It hinders it greatly actually.

On the bright side I talked to most people in my overly tipsy state last night so the ice has been broken on the most part, which I’m nothing short of thrilled about…. And to top it off, I had no hangover (although the usual waking up early after a big night of drinking kicked in much to my annoyance, resulting in me only getting 4 hours sleep before waking up at 6.45am).

Anyways it’s now 4.36 AM and I’m mighty tired. I don’t have Uni tomorrow thank goodness, but I do have to go and see my boss and finally resolve this whole payment issue. i’ll be interested to see what number she finally settled upon. Updates will be up again tomorrow no doubt. Night xx

July 21, 2009 Posted by | college, fun, idiotic, just a quick note, people, university | 2 Comments

A New HILARIOUS Website to Check Out right NOW!

So I just discovered this new website called Texts From Last Night. It is actually hilarious. People submit all the different drunken and retarded text messages on there and there are some real gold ones posted up there. I copied my 7 favourite ones so far below. It just makes my day reading these things, because everyone is guilty of drunken texting at some point. Enjoy:

(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out…i went into my mom’s room to say goodnight and i don’t remember anything…she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes “whats so funny?” and i go “there are 7 people sitting on my knees” and she goes “doesn’t that hurt?” and i said “no we’re sitting in a bowl” and then i capped it off and said “join the crazy train bro” and passed out.

(773) Katie just gave me head on top of the ferris wheel and spit out my load 30 ft onto the ground!
(281) Make that 24 ft because it landed on my head. Youre dead. No joke.

(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

(336): There’s a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
(336): This is god’s gift to the unemployed.

(410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM…he is my new hero

(323): You got in a fight last night?
(818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom…he was standing there and I notice he’s got the same shirt as me on so I’m like…dude you should have called me, we look like idiots…he didn’t say anything…so i got pissed and hit him…completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward…weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
(323): Um…Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

July 10, 2009 Posted by | bored, experiences, fun, idiotic, just for shits and giggles, Random Websites to check out NOW | 3 Comments

The Homer Chronicles of a Cafe

homer simpson and homer illiad

I saw this at the cafe that we went to this morning for our weekly sunday family breakfast, and I thought it was rather quite brilliant. So I took a photo of it so the rest of the world could see the awesomeness of it as well.

July 5, 2009 Posted by | food, idiotic, just a quick note, just for shits and giggles, Literature, Uncategorized | 2 Comments