…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

Ssssstudy mode….

Ok well I kind of fail at it….

 

… and I don’t do algebra or whatever that is…

 

But I am doing my ‘English: Crime and Violence in American Literature’ essay.

Topic of choice:

‘American culture regards sexuality, not physical violence, as the main arena of crime.’

Hello A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams… and a perfect night in writing an essay instead of out celebrating my last night in this horrid town for 5 weeks and the end of exams (well sort of).

Yes. Who really wants to go out and have fun when you can do this instead?


Hello sarcasm, my old friend.
Oh, how I adore you so. 

.

=)

June 19, 2010 Posted by | fun, Going Out on the Town, Literature, procrastinating, university | Leave a comment

Classic!

 

Cyanide & Happpiness comic + superpower

Cyanide & Happpiness comic + superpower

June 4, 2010 Posted by | fun, procrastinating | Leave a comment

Beatles Lyrics – Black Bird

procrastination = fuuuuuun =)

June 3, 2010 Posted by | photography, procrastinating, songs | Leave a comment

ummmm

So the last time I wrote anything, it was about how SHIT uni is at the moment and how I just can’t be fucked. It’s still true. I’m currently sitting on an essay worth 45% of my grade that is going to be minimum of 3 days late IF I smash it out tonight and hand it in tomorrow by noon and I have another essay due on monday (which is worth heaven knows how much) and finally another two assignments due the follow week, both worth about 50% (and one of which I haven’t read any of the texts for, so is bound to be shit).

And instead of focusing on any of them, I have 3 days of being social. Tomorrow is College’s annual “Girls Night Out” (GNO) which is matched by the “Boys Night Out” (BNO) – both of which are similar to hens nights/buck’s parties in that we buy lots of alcohol, drive around being stupid in a bus, and hire strippers. Of course the girls are a little more classy and get good looking strippers, whereas the boys go for quantity over quality. I’m not sure if I’m really looking forward to it though. I’m still in a bit of a mind set that feels horrified at the thought of being in a large crowd of people just screaming and having fun. I was the same at car rally and there was only five of us for that… let alone like 100!

Then on Friday, I have the Woodside Annual Cocktail Function. My friend works at Woodside and asked me to go with him so he wouldn’t be going stag. I agreed, not thinking about the fact that I might not be up for it. But there’s free booze, so maybe I’ll just hit that hard – go for the champagne (as much as I hate it, it’ll get me drunk quickly). I haven’t really touched alcohol in months, so it’s probably about time to hit it hard and have a night to feel sorry for the next morning… so long as I don’t throw it up at the event (seeing as it’s in the grand ballroom), I’ll be fine. Ragas (the guy I’m going with) got thrown out of the event last year for being too drunk, so we’ll probably be a good pair. THe other problem is, it’s cocktail attire, and all my dresses are too short to be classified as such seeing as I don’t suit that length, hence I steer clear of it… oh and I’m having a week where I feel like the most morbidly obese person ever.

Then Saturday, I’m off to the movies that night with Kristie – aka the other girlfriend that was left behind when the boys bailed to traveling around the world. We’re not sure what we’re actually going to see yet, but it should be fun anyways. She’s fun to be around and it’s easy to find something to talk about.

And after having written all of that, I still feel like I’m just floating at the moment and don’t really have a purpose. I want to go traveling, but I know perfectly well that I’m not in the right mindset for it, and would just be miserable if I did it now (sort of like Dom is miserable despite traveling to some amazing places… and there’s nothing to be done about it). If I don’t qualify for exchange then I’m going to go work abroad and then travel – but I know that after a couple of months of working, I’ll be so brain dead that i’ll want to be back at Uni and learning… until I actually get back to Uni and then decide I can’t be fucked. That’s what I always do.

I dunno what I want. 

I think I’m stuck in a rut. 

It’s like, after Dom left someone back home had to carry on his feeling of needing to get out of here but not knowing what to do. Like I don’t have a clear purpose anymore. Coz I’ve definitely got those feelings now.

I think this is the most unfocused I’ve been in years.

Maybe I need change or something.I dunno.

May 13, 2010 Posted by | just a quick note, moods, Personal, procrastinating | Leave a comment

Loooove this photo :)

May 13, 2010 Posted by | just a quick note, photography, pictures, procrastinating | Leave a comment

Theme for the day!

May 7, 2010 Posted by | just a quick note, procrastinating, Sayings | Leave a comment

Plan Distraction

Well at the moment I am succeeding at distracting myself from everything that’ happening at the moment. It is currently some ridiculous hour in the morning and I haven’t slept but instead sat in this same chair for hours on end (and when I say hours I mean that I’ve probably been here for almost 12 hours straight with the exception to toilet breaks and the 30 minutes I took to go and quit my job).

For all those hours I have simply been doing cross stitch and watching a mixture of Skins (Season Two) and Brothers and Sisters (Season Four). Megavideo is tedious at times with its specific quota of how long you are allowed to watch it for. But I suppose that is the point: to frustrate you so much that eventually you pay for it.

At least the cross stitch is coming along:

Although, just looking at this picture, I’ve already noticed a mistake, which means yay for me, I GET TO GO BACK AND FIX IT….. *sigh* … at least I can get frustrated at the damn cross stitch which takes your WHOLE concentration rather than anything else in my life at the moment.

I suppose it is nice to be distracted at the moment… Even if it is a depressing, selfish, wallowing sort of distracted. At least it’s a change from this morning. I was supposed to be working today, so I got up and left by 7.30am from Dom’s house and was at work with 5 minutes to spare. I did the morning training and loaded up the car. Drove around lost for ages because the stupid new girl kept giving us wrong directions then finally got to my site for work for the day by about 10. We set up the table and the products we were selling then I went to get food.

Somehow in the few minutes that I was eating chocolate (which is usually a happy food) my mind managed to slip and all of a sudden I was crying and couldn’t control myself. So I called my boss and asked if I could leave. She said yes so I drove all the way from south of the river to Dom’s house (North of the river), the whole time crying. I got to his house, kept the sunnies on so when his mum answered the door she wouldn’t be able to tell I’d been crying retardedly. I walked straight through the house to his room and just climbed straight back into bed and into his arms where I finally managed to stop crying and eventually slept again… until 2pm.

He was packing his stuff for his camping trip by then and so half an hour later I left (but not until after I discovered that he accidentally put on my skinny leg jeans thinking they were his). I went back to college and resumed my place in this seat. And this is where I have stayed. Problem is, I can almost see this weekend as a test run of what’s going to happen.

Dom is going to leave in 2 and a half days time and I’m going to be left crying my eyes out. Then I’m going to seclude myself to doing things that distract me and that either involve no-one or so many people that I’m lost in the crowd and won’t matter anyway.

I was supposed to go to two birthday parties tonight and I just couldn’t be bothered. I was tired and wasn’t in the mood for socialising. I was also supposed to go for drinks with a group from my old work (which, it turned out, was actually another birthday party and I just didn’t know about it). Eventually I guilt tripped myself into going to see them because I felt bad for having cut them off for the last couple of weeks. So I went.

Sad part is, I actually forbid the Dom leaving topic and any “are you ok?” talk, but then felt disgusted when people were having a really good time. One of the girls was really drunk and so overly happy and loud and I honestly felt repulsed by it… then again she did keep trying to push my head into her boobs and I just really wasn’t in the mood for that sillyness. As for the male population at the bar. Let’s just say I was even more repulsed by every one of them that looked my way. Anyone that did it twice, I wanted to abuse.

*sigh* 

Anyway, this is enough of my rambles for the moment. Back to stitching I think. Yes yes indeedy. Then in a couple of hours, the dawn service for ANZAC Day.

 

April 25, 2010 Posted by | art, depression, emotions, just a quick note, life, love, moods, procrastinating | Leave a comment