…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

Quote of the Week 13


‘A man grows most tired while standing still.’

– Chinese Proverb – 


This gets to be quote of the week because of obvious reasons (if anyone hasn’t already seen my frustrated rant from yesterday then it perhaps won’t be so clear…). Not only am I frustrated by study and my lack of commitment to anything, including work, uni and guys; but I’m tired of being stuck here in this city. At the moment I just have this need to go somewhere else and do something else. I can’t even watch a movie or tv show without getting bored and feeling restless.

Thank gods I’m going to he other side of the country to see my Dad in two weeks and I might even be taking a day trip to another city that I’ve never visited before. Maybe I’ll do some shopping while I’m there… oh wait no, that’s right, I’m broke! So there goes that idea out the window, allowing me to successfully be even more frustrated… *sigh*

All I’ve got to do is just keep thinking that it’s not long now until the summer holidays and I’ll be able to go on my trip to Cambodia and Vietnam… maybe still Japan as well, but who knows. I want to go snowboarding again, but I’d love to go with people. Not just on my own. But I’m beginning to think that won’t be happening either…


August 21, 2009 Posted by | bored, Proverbs, Quote of the Week, Sayings | 2 Comments

Quote of the Week 12


“If you want to do something, you find a way. If you don’t want to do something you find an excuse.”

-Arabian proverb



August 14, 2009 Posted by | Proverbs, Quote of the Week | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week 10 (belated)

Seeing as I accidently missed last weeks quote of the week, I thought I’d post one for last Friday, today. I found a quote extremely fitting thanks to yesterday and the memory loss of the end of the night that occured.

“All too often a clear conscience is merely the result of a bad memory.”

– Ancient Proverb

Fitting don’t you think seeing as I thought I got away with not emailing Dom whilst drunk yet again, but in fact I had. Well it made for a funny moment reading my gibberish and I suppose it’s just as well in the end, because at least the truth came out of it in the end. He knows I want him back here and that I want to be with him properly now. So all that’s left is waiting 3 whole months until he gets back from this little stint he’s doing up north.

August 3, 2009 Posted by | Proverbs, Quote of the Week | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week 5

“A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passer by leaves a mark.”
 – Chinese Proverb

June 12, 2009 Posted by | Proverbs, Quote of the Week | 1 Comment

My Boss: Part 9 (Chinese Proverbs are smart)

Life fairly much sucks at the moment.
I’ve had one good thing happen to me of late: getting into the university college that I’ve always wanted to go to. Thank you so much for that. It means I can finally move out of home (for however long this may last…) and I can experience university the proper way and how I’ve wanted to do it all along. But alas no, I can’t enjoy that too much, because my mother refuses to say so much as even a congratulations for succeeding in the application process. No. Instead continues to try and talk me out of it despite the fact that she knows how much I wanted this.
Then, if it’s not the mother berating me for leaving her however temporarily (and that’s generous considering I’ll probably still see her numerous times a week!), then it’s all this other crap going on that’s trying to pull me down. I know, I know – I brought it all on myself right? Yeah it’s true. I did…
…What an idiot.
I don’t know what on earth, heaven or hell ever made me think that I could be happy at the end of this whole debacle with my boss. No idea. I must be going loopy or something, because it’s only got worse and worse. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he is always plaguing my mind (and when he’s not, then the topic doesn’t stray far from my thoughts), he’s also texting me every day now. Making it near impossible to forget about him for one day straight.
I refuse to blur the line that lies between us. I know it’s there. I don’t want to cross it. I refuse to cross it – because that’s just not the kind of girl that I am. Yes while outrageously drunk I momentarily lost control and kissed him (although I have now been told it happened twice. Apparently it first occurred in the taxi – yet another memory I have absolutely no recollection of), but that was a momentary lapse of control due to extreme amounts of alcohol coursing through my body and impairing my judgement (and memory). I learnt my lesson.
My boss, on the other hand, seems to be moving further and further away from what he has and that is the complete and utter opposite of what he should be doing. He should be shunning me and rekindling what he has, because what he has is a good thing. He says he’s wondered about us and he’s told me it annoys him that we can’t explore what we could maybe have been, but do you know what? Too bad! It wasn’t meant to be. Deal with it. Doesn’t mean it’s easy to deal with it, but it is right. I have to do it and so should he!
He wouldn’t cheat. I know he wouldn’t and he’s always been very clear on this point even before this whole debacle started. But when he sends me messages like: 
‘Don’t take this the wrong way, think of it as a philosophical question if you like. Is it weird  that potentially we could be happier if we were “worse” people?’
and when I said it depending on what he defined ‘”worse” people’ as, he replied with:
‘Ok, bluntly, if we ignored everyone else and decided to give us a shot.’
Those kinds of messages, quite frankly, make me sort of mad. It would be the stupidest thing in the world for him to cheat and to throw away what he has, and I would never in my right mind let him. It was when I got these two messages that it sort of hit me really hard that this has gone way past where it should ever have been allowed to go. I was so foolish.
Oh and needless to say, I replied to his text message saying that it wasn’t possible and that I knew he wouldn’t do that… And neither would I. I couldn’t. And besides, I thought that if I removed myself from the picture eventually he would be happier where he was. He replied to that with a simple “maybe”. That was all the message said. That tore me up just a little bit but in a completely different way. Not knowing how it was meant due to it being a text message, I took it in the worst sense – that he thought that was likely and it was a hint for me to pick up. It seemed like my stomach dropped when I read it. It hurt me. So I replied saying that I couldn’t tell what kind of maybe that was over txt message, but that being the case, I’d look for another job harder and I was sorry that it had taken so long…
Actually this whole last week has been telling me that I was completely foolish. On Sunday just gone, he managed to hurt me as well – unintentionally again of course. I mentioned being out with a friend named Noah (who I have told him about before), and he turned to me straight away and asked, “Is this the one that is happily in a relationship and wants to marry his girlfriend?” While it is true that I had said that of Noah before and it was right of my boss to ask that to identify him from previous stories, the fact that he asked that first hurt. It was because he asked that first and it made it sound as if I only went out with guys that were already happily attached to other women. I never felt like a bigger hussy and man-stealer than that moment and he had done it unintentionally. I don’t think he realises just how painfully aware I am of the fact that he is in a relationship and that what I am doing by staying around is so very wrong and selfish.
Oh well. It is my own fault for all of this and I have no one else to blame. The search for another job continues, but at the moment I’m seriously contemplating just quitting this job without another one to start in the hope that I will find one soon after leaving. This job is becoming too much trouble to handle now days and one of these days it will catch up with me and over flow.
After all, there is a chinese proverb that says of the 36 ways of avoiding a disaster, running away is the best.

May 14, 2009 Posted by | emotions, life, love, Personal, Proverbs, Sayings, secrets, work | 2 Comments