…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

once upon a time…

Effy: From the moment I saw you, I knew it would be the closest I’d get to being… close. I didn’t know what to do with that feeling… happiness.
Freddie: Listen Effy, you are closest –
Effy: But they know now! And they’re hungry, really fucking hungry. Because for as long as I know they’ve been chasing me, and now they’re ready, now they’re strong enough to break through. And I can’t fight them. I used to be able to when I was strong but you’ve made me weak. And now I can’t, I can’t.


July 27, 2010 Posted by | depression, disapointment, happy, life, Quotes by People, skins | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week # 36

“We are able to find everything in our memory, which is like a dispensary or chemical laboratory in which chance steers our hand sometimes to a soothing drug and sometimes to a dangerous poison.”

– Marcel Proust –

Yesterday and today I’ve been taking small trips down memory lane. Not necessarily intentional. Small things trigger it. Mostly about Dom. Sometimes about other things that make me laugh.

Yesterday at lunch we were talking about throwing up and I mentioned there was a time that I threw up stomach lining and the other 3 kept saying when that happens you should be worried and going to the doctors. I had to restrain myself after that and just laugh to myself at my foolishness – that night I had been with Phoebe. I’d been really drunk, had a mini break down to her about how I wasn’t good enough for her even after I’d lost my best friend because of something to do with her. Phoebe was supposed to be looking after me. Instead she left and didn’t tell me until later when I texted her. She got Ivan (her bf at the time) to come get her and she left me with some guy I’d met that night who was all to happy to take advantage of me. I ended up phoning my mum to come get me and spent the rest of the night curled around a toilet not throwing up alcohol – just stomach lining.

But I laughed to myself at that because its just another point where I can easily see she didn’t care.

I’ve held her hair while she was sick and I’ve helped her when drunk on countless occasions in highschool. When we went to a festival later on last year I was on exstacy for the first time and even whilst on that I looked after first Kahli whilst she cried, then Phoebe, then Aimee, and then Phoebe again. And when I tried helping Phoebe – when I helped carry her to the first aid tent and sat with her, and finally rang Dom (on his first night back in town) to come get her – she stopped talking to me and got mad at me because I suggested that DOM come get her and the fact that I had his number. So I gave her space and I kept my distance when he arrived.

I’m sorry I try helping… I really am sometimes.


I had some good memory flash backs too. I was listening to ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay on the bus back from Ha Long Bay the other day and I now think I can pinpoint my single happiest memory out of all the time that I’ve known Dom. It was standing with him in the crowd in the last part of the song where it swells with “tears stream…”. The coloured butterflies were streaming from the roof and floatng down as they played. And I think it is the single most magical moment of my life. I just remember feeling that and looking at Dom. That shared feeling of amazement…. I also had a strong desire to kiss him and secretely wished he would.

But it was just that one amazing moment and looking into his eyes….

… It beats every other memory. Even the ones of times we were actually together….

July 17, 2010 Posted by | depression, disapointment, emotions, love, Quote of the Week, Quotes by People | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week #34


“What you’ve done becomes the judge of what you’re going to do – especially in other people’s minds. When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.”

– William Least Heat Moon


That’s what I love about travelling – if you go somewhere else you can be a completely different person. You can completely reinvent yourself if you want. Maybe that’s why I’m looking forward to Canberra – no one knows me. I can go there and have a good time acting confident and happy – because no one will know any different. There’s no one to rip me for something stupid I’ve done or pull me down for past mistakes. I’ll be free in a sense.

I love travel.

I really do.

Bring on the holidays and getting away from reality for a while 😀

June 18, 2010 Posted by | Quote of the Week, Quotes by People, Travel | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week #33

This one here is a travel quote that I found once, although as much as it applies to travel and adventure, I find that it also applies more than adequately to life in general. This one goes out to someone who is traveling and somewhat conflicted about action (*cough* “Matt” *cough*)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  

– Mark Twain –

So the point to that one was do it. Just do it. Because you will regret it like no tomorrow if you do not. Pain as a result of one option is sure to be bother great and inevitable, but the pain and regret of the other option shall be far greater…. in my nosy out of place opinion anyhow.

This second part is a quote (in the picture) which sums up how I’ve been feeling a bit this year – like I just need to be out there in the world. I’m restless and seeing this picture restored in me a flame of desire to be in conflict zones reporting the atrocities and experiencing life from a completely different perspective.

I know it is horrible to say it, but I prefer the company of those who have not experienced luxuries and over zealousness. I will not go as far as to say I prefer the poor, but I find the company of those they receive almost all they ever wish for to be tiring due to their often spoilt demeanor and their more often than not lack of care for those who are less fortunate.

Having said that, I know that I can not claim that I am any better than them, for I know I am not. But it is my opinion that those who do not get all they desire are more humble and simply happy. They can teach others a great many things simply because they know the joys that can be found in even the tiniest things. They appreciate life, because for them, it’s not guaranteed like it is, in a sense, for the wealthy. Life is simpler and happier.

June 11, 2010 Posted by | photography, pictures, Quote of the Week, Quotes by People, war | Leave a comment

The Road is Life

Our battered suitcases were

     piled on the sidewalk again;

we had longer ways to go. 

But no matter, the road is life.


I found this picture and I quite love it. Although I can’t help but read feelings of loneliness and desperation in it. It reminds me of all those designed and mastered images of ‘post-apocolyptic’ worlds and what they could possibly be like. It also sort of reminded me of ‘The Road’ by Cormac McCarthy. Kudos to the artist (Michael Kursche I think?) There were a number of other images up at the same place although I’m not sure if they’re also by him as well… (click on them to see larger versions)


Toodleoo xx

June 10, 2010 Posted by | just a quick note, pictures, Quotes by People, Travel | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week #32

“And when the future hinges on the next words that are said, don’t let logic interfere, believe in your heart instead.”

– Philip Robinson


“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.”

– Alex Tan


Two quotes for today. I won’t bother explaining them though. I think they do that themselves. Plus I’ve been told my blog is too depressing, and I wouldn’t want to add to that with another story here. So there it is. That’s the end. Enjoy.

June 6, 2010 Posted by | observation, Quote of the Week, Quotes by People | Leave a comment

Quote of the Week #31

I only realised today that I have lapsed in both writing in general and my quote of the week. so to make up for last weeks (which would have no doubt been down right depressing considering all that was happening at the time – I’ll explain another time), I’m putting out two quotes this week. It seems to be becoming a bit of a habit to have more than one quote, but from now on, no more. Grr.

‘Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return.’

TH White


‘There is no privacy that cannot be penetrated, no secret can be kept in a civilised world. Society is a masked ball, where everyone hides his real character, then reveals it by hiding.’

Ralph Waldorf Emmerson


Three guesses what they connect to… and if you can’t guess it then wait a while and I’ll eventually write up some epic posts about the last week and a half. For now though, I’m off to bed because I’m tired and after six and a half hours of procrastinating, I think it’s clear I’m not getting any work done at the moment. On the bright side, my room is very clean and I have a large number of new movies downloaded. Yay.

Please and thank you 🙂 xx

May 29, 2010 Posted by | Quote of the Week, Quotes by People | Leave a comment