…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

Car crash.

It’s been raining this afternoon. Not too heavily I don’t think because I’d been home all afternoon studying and I didn’t hear it bucketing down or anything, but enough to create rather wet roads here. Last time it rained and I was driving in Dad’s car I had my foot to the floor on the brakes and that almost wasn’t enough to stop me sliding down a hill into the intersection. I had honestly though I was going to hit a car going past that time but I managed to just miss it luckily. I didn’t know whether it was that there was no grip on Dad’s tyres or if the bakes were dying, but I suspect probably a deadly combination of the two.

Today though, I was driving along at a pretty moderate speed, considering it had been raining, and I was going around a bend in the road – one which isn’t too sharp a turn, but still a bend nonetheless. I didn’t think it was a big enough turn to do this, but apparently on a wet road it is. I felt the car start to turn a bit on its own and turned the wheel to compensate. A second later it did it again but it went out of control and neither me semi screaming or trying to turn the essentially useless steering wheel seemed to control or help the situation in any manner.

The car did a full skid and swing, turning a complete 180 degrees on it’s own to the other side of the road, whilst I was trying to use the brake but not so much that it would make me completely skid out of control. I ended up on the curb of someones driveway at a stop, shaken and frantically looking for any cars coming in that direction and that could potentially rear end me. Thankfully there wasn’t any cars there at the same time as it happened or I would have hit them and had a potentially serious car crash. And thankfully I also didn’t manage to lose control until the point where I was in the clear of missing the traffic island and big poles in the centre of the two lanes. That probably would have resulted in one of two outcomes: hitting it at an angle or straight on and bringing me to a stop but also mangling Dad’s car; or mounting the curb with one wheel just enough to have the possibility of the car rolling onto it’s side.

Dad only drive’s a small Peugot Astra thank god. If it had of been a four wheel drive or something I would have been fucked.

But most of this posts has been about “ifs” and “luckily” nots. In the scenario I got, I ended up fine other than having my nerves and any confidence left in that car shaken up like a milkshake. I hate that car.

July 2, 2010 Posted by | death, Personal, rain | 1 Comment

Sick Days

This is sort of old now (in fact its from the 6th of September)… but I thought I would include it anyway and post it up:

For the past week I have been suffering from illnesses hitting me left right and center: sinus infections, sore throat, blocked ears, conjunctivitis, coughing, and worst of all, severe fatigue. Now, I’m no stranger to being ill. I maintain that sinus infections is just like a compulsory thing for me these days. It seems to reoccur very three or so weeks much to my annoyance.

However, this last week is probably the sickest I have been all year – I’ve spent practically the whole week in bed asleep or if I haven’t been asleep (which wasn’t very often) then I was on the couch watching tv because mum wouldn’t let me go to sleep again. I’ve never slept so much in one week in my life. On the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday alone I would have slept more collectively than I normally would over the space of a few weeks!

But now it is the weekend, and besides now being a whole entire week behind in school work (which is a monstrous amount these days),  I have finally realised why I have felt so strange in particular these last couple of days.

My lacking of energy, due to being sick, not using my muscles (because I’ve been sleeping so excessively) and not eating very much, has prevented me from doing anything outside of the house. I went to school for a couple of hours on Thursday, but that has been my only trip to the outside world really (not including the car rides to the doctors).

So just now, I decided I would go outside.

It’s a beautiful day. The kind of day where you can just stare at one piece of nature, and if you mind can appreciate it, it can fascinate you for ages. The sky is a wide clear blue expanse that isn’t blemished even once by a cloud in sight. The grass is just entering the stages of beginning to tinge brown as spring begins to set in, and the birds are all out chirping and drifting on the gentle breeze which always seems to be there.

If there’s one thing that I absolutely love, it’s the wind.

I know it sounds corny, but I’ve always thought there was something magical about it. The way you can feel it, and smell it and even hear it through the trees. Yet you can never see it. I always thought that if there was a way to feel your loved ones after they passed then I thought that was it – the wind.

I think the best feeling in the world when outside is just sitting, with your back to the sun for it’s warmth with a gentle breeze blowing sideways. If you can just sit, close you eyes and appreciate that feeling – the combination of warmth, light, cool and movement – then you’ll find some sort of peace within yourself.  Because if you can truly stop long enough to appreciate it properly, think about it and really breathe it in, then you’ve stopped worrying about everything else in the world that isn’t as perfect as that moment.

I would stay stuck in this moment if I could.

But then I know I would miss out on other joys – like rain.

October 21, 2008 Posted by | beautiful, life, rain, sick, sleep, sun, wind | Leave a comment