…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

Cambodia… What Day am I up to??

Well today I spent all day in bed sickHow much more awesome can it get?!

*note: immense and extreme sarcasm used for the last sentence*

Last night we went to a local festival which was put on by Suzuki because they were launching a new bike. I thought I’d eat some of the local food being sold there – steered clear of all the nasty looking one though of course. I didn’t think there’d be anything wrong with having some innocent ice cream…. but noooooooo. apparently when you stupidly buy coconut ice cream from a local guy, you get bloody food poisoning!

Viciously painful extreme food poisoning. Food poisoning that, no exaggeration, makes you feel as though someone is continuously stabbing you in the stomach and shredding your insides until, whilst crying from the pain, you become aware of the high likelihood of vomiting from the nausea of so much pain. It’s horrible I tell you and I have more of a desire to become annorexic than ever go through that again.

It actually became so painful that, whilst still at the guesthouse on my own, I had to get the orphanage director to phone one of the guys across at the orphanage to pass on a message to my Mum to come back urgently. She got back here in a hurry of course all worried and wanted to take me to hospital. I refused. Quite frankly, the idea of going to a hospital in Cambodia (or any other asian, african or third world country) freaks the fucking shit out of me and this morning I was opting to sit there in agony rather than take my chances at one of those hospitals. Fuck that.

Then I was offered to be taken to the Australian Hospital – which I will admit, if desperate then that is where I would prefer to be – however it is two hours away in Phnom Penh (the capital city) and I didn’t think I’d make the trip there too well. So instead I toughed it out with minor medication and alas I’m still living. Yay for me. Mum had said food poisoning usually lasted around 8 hours and it was pretty much exactly true in my case (thank god it wasn’t any longer).

I still feel a bit off colour and sometimes feel a bit faint when standing up, but I just avoid that on the most part. It’s working pretty well for me at the moment.

In other news, last night I finished the poster (below) that I’m going to be taking to Phnom Penh this weekend to post up in different hostels, guesthouses and hotels. This makes the second project for advertising NFO now done. Next project is making the film for the tuk tuks that will be in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap as advertisement. that should be fun 😀 anyways, nighty night xx



December 28, 2009 Posted by | art, Cambodia/Vietnam Trip, experiences, sick, Travel | 4 Comments

Day Five at the Orphanage

Well it’s finally happened: I’ve gotten sick. It was bound to happen at one point or another given the fact that I am traveling in Asia for two and a half months in humid conditions. I know that I don’t deal well with the heat or humidity. When I was in Singapore I ended up getting sick for a week thanks to the humidity and food. I was sleeping, delirious and coughing for a whole week we were there and then two weeks after we got back.

I haven’t seen any of my food being cooked while I’ve been here and I’ve been eating the fruit here as well – bananas mainly. Yesterday when we went to pick up our washing from the lady around the corner, she cut down a couple of coconut and chopped off the tops for my sister and I. put a couple of straws in it for us so we could drink the insides – now who knows what was in there. For all I know there could have been bugs or mould or something like that. I tried to drink as small an amount as possible while making it also look like I was drinking it and enjoying it.

Meh.I’m sure it will be gone soon enough.

In the mean time, I’m just going to drink some water and get some more sleep. Hopefully when I go back to sleep this time I won’t have shit house dreams like last night though. I woke up this morning absolutely horrified at what I’d just dreamt. Actually I practically almost cried afterwards. Dreams can go die in a hole as far as I’m concerned…

Anyways, I’m going to get back to that sleep and then maybe I’ll go bac to the orphanage in a couple of hours if I’m feeling any better. I feel so shit sitting here in front of the fan slacking off when all the others tough it out and don’t seem bothered at all.

Hmm. Okidokies. Aurevoir mes amis!

December 11, 2009 Posted by | Cambodia/Vietnam Trip, experiences, Personal, sick, Travel | 3 Comments

Hectic Life + Sickness = Shitty Times :)

I’m so sick and tired of being sick! gahhhhhhh!

Being ill sucks big time and I’m just soooooooo over it. I want it to go away and just be done with me (whatever this illness is). My voice goes between absolutely retarded and semi normal. It sounds so stupid and I’m sick of it.

I have a ball tomorrow night and thanks to this sickness (and the fact that I’m not happy with the dress I’m to wear), I’m really not all that enthusiastic about the Ball. Then again it could also be something to do with the fact that I haven’t gone out with any one from St Georges (well I haven’t really gone out at all lately) and I haven’t even just chilled with them, because I’ve been working bloody full time. 

Like, as much as I appreciate and need the money, my father is paying for me to go to college and by me working full time, I’m not getting the full experience of college and I’m not getting everything out of it that I should…. not to mention I’ve now royally screwed myself over for my exams (thanks to me being a slacker all semester!).

Owell. What ya gonna do about it?

Better go because I have work in an hour and a half and I still need to go to the shops, pick up books, pack things up etc. Yay for a hectic life… No really, it sucks.

ps. One of my articles was published in the University Newspaper… woop woop (yeh that really wasn’t enthusiastic…)

October 9, 2009 Posted by | college, sick, work | Leave a comment

My Boss : Part 14 (reminders and similarities)

Well winter has set in, which is an absolute plus, but with that also comes the damned synus infections that I always get every year. If I could have them removed I truly would. So instead of using today as a study day like I should have been, I spent the whole day more or less feeling sorry for myself, sleeping and procrastinating. One of those forms of procrastination was reading a new story off the Fan Fiction website. The new one I’m reading is ‘I Hate Myself For Loving You’ by Halojones [Note this is not my story and I claim no credit for it].

When reading one of the chapters though, I couldn’t help making some links between the story and the situation with my boss. It seemed almost to be like us talking in the story. Freaky. But here it is:

Dear Bella,

I know it’s only been 7 days, but I thought I’d write you a letter and give it to Alice. That way you could decide if you wanted to open it or not.

I just keep thinking about our last talk because it didn’t turn out like I had hoped. I wanted to let you know I was sorry and I wanted to earn your trust back. But once I got in front of you, I said any stray thought that came into my mind.

All I wanted to say were those two things.


I want to earn your trust back.

That’s all. I know I showed you my worst side within a matter of hours, and it hurts to know that is the last impression I gave you before you took your “break.”




I am pretty good at editing and organizing people’s words-if you had ever met my mother, you would understand how I got so good at that.I did glean those two things out of our conversation actually, and I appreciate that.

Know that I think you have a good heart and you mean well. I just worry that you can be careless. Carelessness scares me-the two people I love most in this world can be careless. And without meaning to, they have wreaked alot of unnecessary havoc with simply not thinking first. I hope you understand my point, and know I don’t say this to be rude. It’s just something I felt I needed to explain to you in light of the fact I had stressed the need for you to be careful in the first place. It’s one of those deal breakers for me in terms of who I can have around me or not.



Dearest Bella,

I don’t think that’s rude at all. I’m very grateful you shared that with me. I can be careless. I think I’ve been able to get away with being careless for a long time now. I always thought having some sort of charm was a gift, but maybe it’s made it too easy for me to get what I want-even when I don’t deserve it.

If you want to share anything else with me regarding what happened, I would appreciate it. I really don’t know what is going through your mind right now, and it’s killing me not knowing. I can’t stop thinking what you think of me.




I appreciate what you said about carelessness-if we were all so “unlucky” to be born with natural dazzling abilities!

Um…in some ways my mind isn’t thinking about it or you honestly. That’s where I wonder if we are somewhat different Edward. Please don’t be offended-but you seem to have had a pretty comfy existence. Nice family, nice lifestyle, nice car, nice life. Replaying unpleasant thoughts that are killing you seems to be something unique and almost romantic. A sort of sweet torture.

I haven’t had a horrible life in comparison. But it’s had it’s share of challenges. I’ve shared with you alot of those challenges. And at this point in my life, I’ll cut something out of my life quickly if it looks like it will bring me unneeded pain and drama. I feel like I have alot on my plate as it is with trying to get through school and make a living. Life throws enough curveballs your way-you don’t have to add to them voluntarily.



Dearest Bella,

You are wrong-it’s not a sweet torture. It’s not something romantic at all for me. I feel sad you would even think I would treat it as some emotional lab experiment for myself.

Is that what you are doing right now? Cutting me out of your life? I just need to know.




If I was cutting you out of my life, I would have said that to you. And I would have if I needed to.

But I do think we needed a break. We basically crammed a normal relationship-from first meeting to bad breakup–into a matter of hours. Nita at the tattoo parlor said as much. The only place we had left to go at that point was being featured on “America’s Most Wanted” for a nation wide crime spree. I’m not ready for the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted List yet. I’d lose my partial scholarship if I did that!

ps: I believe you about it not being a sweet torture. I can be a bit presumptious at times-always feel free to call me on it when I overindulge my natural sense of superiority.:)

ps: I lied. I do think about that night sometimes. I’ll tell you one thing I do wonder about. This may sound weird, but one of the things that bothered me the most was how you treated the girl you were with. You were all fine and dandy feeling her up in public-but the minute you saw me and knew I saw you, you totally pushed her aside and ignored her the rest of the night. That actually creeped me out. I felt like me and that girl were in the same boat in alot of ways actually that night, and it made me think how easy it would be for me to become “that girl” one day with you. And I also felt like it sucked to know that you act so differently depending on my presence-or lack thereof. It’s hard for me understand you, because your presence wasn’t needed for me to behave a certain way that night. I was still on a meadow high.

To read the whole story: 





June 1, 2009 Posted by | emotions, love, observation, sick, work | 1 Comment

…stupid teeth…

Yet another flaw in the human design: always wanting what you can’t have. 
It’s inevitable and you can’t avoid it. 
True that it’s a common known fact, but it sometimes it because painfully obvious to you. Times such as when you have numerous teeth out at one time under an operation and as a result eat two meesly bowls of ice cream in the space of 36 hours (which hurts anyways) as a result of not being able to eat anything. The most annoying part of it all is when you wake up from the operation and they try to get you to eat something before you go home is that they offer you ice cream or jelly that’s it. All you crave is something big and chewable. All I’ve been craving over the last day and a half is carbs – an lots of them: toast with vegemite, chips, wedges, a huge sandwich, pasta (in every form), pizza, bacon and eggs. Unfortunately that’s not possible. 
Not to mention the fact that over half of them are are hot foods and they’re banned as well. So there goes the soups idea as well. Brilliant.
Owell. It’s only a few days until all will hopefully be normal again. Can’t wait for the swelling to go down as well. I really do have a chipmunk at the moment, although admittedly one side is more swollen than the other as a result of being a retard and accidently sleeping on that side.

December 17, 2008 Posted by | experiences, life, observation, people, sick, teeth | 4 Comments

Sick Days

This is sort of old now (in fact its from the 6th of September)… but I thought I would include it anyway and post it up:

For the past week I have been suffering from illnesses hitting me left right and center: sinus infections, sore throat, blocked ears, conjunctivitis, coughing, and worst of all, severe fatigue. Now, I’m no stranger to being ill. I maintain that sinus infections is just like a compulsory thing for me these days. It seems to reoccur very three or so weeks much to my annoyance.

However, this last week is probably the sickest I have been all year – I’ve spent practically the whole week in bed asleep or if I haven’t been asleep (which wasn’t very often) then I was on the couch watching tv because mum wouldn’t let me go to sleep again. I’ve never slept so much in one week in my life. On the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday alone I would have slept more collectively than I normally would over the space of a few weeks!

But now it is the weekend, and besides now being a whole entire week behind in school work (which is a monstrous amount these days),  I have finally realised why I have felt so strange in particular these last couple of days.

My lacking of energy, due to being sick, not using my muscles (because I’ve been sleeping so excessively) and not eating very much, has prevented me from doing anything outside of the house. I went to school for a couple of hours on Thursday, but that has been my only trip to the outside world really (not including the car rides to the doctors).

So just now, I decided I would go outside.

It’s a beautiful day. The kind of day where you can just stare at one piece of nature, and if you mind can appreciate it, it can fascinate you for ages. The sky is a wide clear blue expanse that isn’t blemished even once by a cloud in sight. The grass is just entering the stages of beginning to tinge brown as spring begins to set in, and the birds are all out chirping and drifting on the gentle breeze which always seems to be there.

If there’s one thing that I absolutely love, it’s the wind.

I know it sounds corny, but I’ve always thought there was something magical about it. The way you can feel it, and smell it and even hear it through the trees. Yet you can never see it. I always thought that if there was a way to feel your loved ones after they passed then I thought that was it – the wind.

I think the best feeling in the world when outside is just sitting, with your back to the sun for it’s warmth with a gentle breeze blowing sideways. If you can just sit, close you eyes and appreciate that feeling – the combination of warmth, light, cool and movement – then you’ll find some sort of peace within yourself.  Because if you can truly stop long enough to appreciate it properly, think about it and really breathe it in, then you’ve stopped worrying about everything else in the world that isn’t as perfect as that moment.

I would stay stuck in this moment if I could.

But then I know I would miss out on other joys – like rain.

October 21, 2008 Posted by | beautiful, life, rain, sick, sleep, sun, wind | Leave a comment