…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

once upon a time…

Effy: From the moment I saw you, I knew it would be the closest I’d get to being… close. I didn’t know what to do with that feeling… happiness.
Freddie: Listen Effy, you are closest –
Effy: But they know now! And they’re hungry, really fucking hungry. Because for as long as I know they’ve been chasing me, and now they’re ready, now they’re strong enough to break through. And I can’t fight them. I used to be able to when I was strong but you’ve made me weak. And now I can’t, I can’t.


July 27, 2010 Posted by | depression, disapointment, happy, life, Quotes by People, skins | Leave a comment

Word of the Month

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m going to say it again:
I love Skins !

Yes indeedy and after watching the entire of the first season last night between approximately 5 PM and 2.30ish AM, I’m still entranced by it (despite it being the second time I’ve watched the season, not including the very first time I watched it in pieces on TV).
And once again I’ve walked out with a catchy/favourite word. Last time it was ‘wow’ thanks to the character Cassie, which fast became, most annoyingly, a habit of mine to say. This time I’m choosing my word:

As in “you fucking twat”. It is in my opinion a brilliant word and awesome to use as an insult. Then again so is the word ‘wanker’, but that has a somewhat more sleezy feel to it. ‘Twat’ is just so short and sharp to say that it automatically sounds emphasised. 
Twat: (noun) a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious. 
[It is also vulgar slang for ‘a woman’s genitals’]
Learn it people. It’s simply fucking brilliant. 🙂

December 3, 2008 Posted by | fun, skins, word of the month | Leave a comment

drugs, sex, rock and roll

Well, this is a new bog, considering the last one decided to break down on me and now screws up my internet every time I try to use it, which results in the internet freezing and me having to force quit all internet windows (including all porn – kidding)

My last bog was more philosophical and about worldly things and matters, but lately I’ve been feeling the need to just write about everything. Much like I used to in my diaries. The only problem with them was that my mother used to go through them, and not to mention the fact that I always used to get terrible hand cramps.

Now one might think it ironic that to get away from prying and intrusive eyes, I would turn to publishing my thoughts on the Internet, but really it makes sense. Here I’m an unknown person on another unknown computer in the world. Completely anonymous and someone (such as yourself) reads this, then I really don’t mind on account of the fact that the chances that we know each other are so incredibly small it’s not funny.

So anyways, I’ve noticed something lately – it seems like the latest craze this year amongst school kids seems to be watching TV series’ on DVD. I’ve found myself also becoming victim to this craze considering I went through a MAJOR Gilmore Girls phase last year and (sadly) ending this year. Last night and all of today I watched the whole first season of Skins, which is a magnificent TV series, produced by the Madman Television and SBS in Australia. It’s rated R18+ on account of its ‘High Level Drug Use’. I can’t exactly argue with this considering pretty much every single scene involves them either using drugs or talking about them.

Now I have never been a player for the drugs team and I’ve never exactly been a big fan. I had a close friend a few years ago that got seriously mixed up in that scene and it screwed her life up. She wound up addicted to a couple of different substances, a drunk and was admitted to institutions for trying to commit suicide three times and other acts of self-harming. She also mixed with the crowds that did the same sort of thing, which resulted with her getting boyfriend after boyfriend that was a bad influence, horrible to her, beat her, and forced her to do more drugs. Eventually it climaxed with one that beat her to a pulp after breaking into her house and she was hospitalised. For some insane reason she stayed with him after this happened. He continued to beat her frequently and finally she ended up bashed and pregnant after he had beaten and raped her. She STILL claimed that she loved him and he her.

I did my best to convince her she had to leave him and eventually she did after he paid to have the pregnancy “taken care of” (aborted). It wasn’t soon enough in my opinion, but she found it hard to let go of that whole scene. She after being on the straight path for a while eventually went back to her old ways and we drifted apart when she moved to the other side of the world. But needless to say, after seeing one of my closest friends go through this I became somewhat scared of losing a friend to drugs and I never touched the stuff myself. For a very long time I didn’t touch alcohol either.

Since then I think my ideals and morals have really changed. Watching Skins and all the drug use in there, I only saw a fun environment with heightened and crazy experiences. Popping pills (like ecstasy) and smoking marijuana doesn’t seem so bad and the ecstasy just seemed to make the raves even more exciting. Admittedly ecstasy is very much the party drug and the newest craze amongst my year group as far as drug craze’s go, but I had still thought of all the people in my year group that I heard about doing it as absolute wankers who were so incredibly stupid for doing it that it just wasn’t funny.

Don’t get me wrong, Skins has got the whole overdosing spin in it just to let you know that you can do some serious damage when you take drugs, but it still created a new, good light within my mind surrounding drugs such as pot and pills. I would still never touch anything heavy like heroin or acid or anything like that, but I have new thoughts about the lighter stuff – if any drug can really be called “lighter”. It has made me think that I might not be opposed to trying them if I was at a rave or all night or good party. Something good anyhow. Just to see what it would be like.

This year has been a big year of changing thoughts for me really. I’ve begun drinking a lot more and enjoy it – it’s become a combination of outlet and social lubricant so that I can enjoy things more. Of course when drinking, your enjoyment can also be very dependent on who you are with and most of my friends really are not helpful in that aspect. Because I’ve realised this about my friends so much more this year, I’ve been hanging out with some different crowds and been influenced by them.

On one camp I was with one of the boys and it came up that I would have to go back to our dorm with my friend before the other girls woke up and that we couldn’t stay in the boys dorm all night because of what the girls would say and think. One of the boys then turned around to me and said, “You’re 17 aren’t you? So you should be able to do what you want to do.” This really opened my eyes and made me realise that I wasn’t doing all the things I wanted to do. I also realised the fact that I didn’t mind the idea of doing or trying some of the things that I had previously been very opposed to. And if you follow my drift, the title of this blog refers to some of the things that have changed (except iv loved rock and roll for a very long time so it need not be counted).

So basically, watching Skins today was again an awakening to the ideas that are continually changing within my head. Thoughts both morally and idealistically about many subjects that are relevant to growing up in this day and age. But whether or not I give into these thoughts, or at least if I give into them any time soon, is another matter and a bridge I’ll cross when I get to it. At the moment I’m just happy waiting for the next party so that I can get drunk, party, dance and all that jazz 🙂

August 2, 2008 Posted by | drugs, morals, sex, skins | Leave a comment