…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

‘WTF’ of the Week #3: Woman sues after getting four breasts

Woman sues after getting four breasts

“Maria came out of that operation with essentially four breasts,” her attorney, Michael J. Kuharski, told jurors during Monday’s opening arguments in Staten Island Supreme Court.

Postoperative photos showed heavy scars on Alaimo’s breasts, which appear flattened on the bottom with “severe swells the size of a softball on top,” reported the news site.


And for the record, NO, the picture to the right is not Maria Alaimo and that is not what she ended up with. I believe the costume in the picture would involve six breasts including her own ones and the fake ones, but the picture was funny and seemed to go so well with the article about something so stupid.

I mean really, breast duplication?!?

That just makes me laugh.

 

April 15, 2010 Posted by | 'WTF?!' of the Week, weird | Leave a comment

‘WTF?!’ of the week #2: Call for rape accused to wed goat victim

Call for rape accused to wed goat victim

The young men, whose names and ages were not released, were caught in the act by police and arrested outside the rural town of Mbucuta in central Mozambique, the website of the state broadcaster said.

“One of the young men was naked and holding the goat’s head, and the other was having sex with the animal,” witness Mario Creva told Radio Mozambique.

And if you thought that this was already weird enough, well it seems it’s not completely uncommon disturbingly. Yes, we’ve all heard the jokes about New Zealanders and their seual fetishes for their sheep (because they have so many of them), but there aren’t usually any jokes about goats. Here’s another article saying the same sort of thing: Foreign Workers Rape Mother Goat to Death

Also, who doesn’t love the picture to accompany this weeks ‘WTF?!’ You get so many of these types of ironic and sarcastic photos created, but this is kind of classic in an overly controversial way.

April 8, 2010 Posted by | 'WTF?!' of the Week, weird | Leave a comment

Photos: Bugger… but that’s what you get when you try to help animals

These photos are dedicated to those who feel the need to be absolute animal lovers and liberalists [for example the Animal Liberation Front (aka ALP)]. I guess sometimes things can just fuck up for you. I believe that is definitely some irony. SUCK ON THAT.

An overturned boat at a bay in Uwajima, 675kms southwest of Tokyo.
A Japanese fisherman was knocked off the small boat and died after trying to rescue a straying whale.

 

 

Plantation workers near Kuala Lumpur examine a huge python which had eaten a workmate.

April 5, 2010 Posted by | journalism, photography, procrastinating, weird | Leave a comment

‘WTF’ of the Week #1: Breast Milk Cheese – and no this ISNT an April Fools Day joke.

Let me introduce you to the new feature for my blog: The ‘WTF?!’ of the Week. So it’s similar to quote of the week, but weirder and awesome…. and also to be released on Thursdays – not Fridays. Hope you learn to love it…. or at least get a giggle out of it…

 

Trendy bistro Klee Brasserie offers breast milk cheese

“Some people who clearly have issues have … emailed me saying, ‘I wasn’t breastfed as a child, so can I taste your breast milk?'” she said. Mason politely declined the offers. “I’m not here to walk people through their psychological problems,” she said.

That said, Mason is now prodding Angerer to make gelato out of her milk.
 

This is probably one of the more disturbing articles that I’ve ever read in my life. It’s foul and disturbing that people would actually want to eat that. It’s bad enough that people like to eat placentas post birth, but at least that has health benefits being one of the most nutrition filled things you can possible eat in the world…. But this? This is just weird.

And the worst part? It’s that she wants to make gelato with it!! 

FOR HEAVENS SAKE WOMAN! DON’T RUIN THE GLORIOUS WORLD OF ICE-CREAM!!!!!!!

April 1, 2010 Posted by | 'WTF?!' of the Week, just a quick note, weird | Leave a comment

Quote of the week #24 (early)

This is a special edition of the Quote of the week seeing as it is being done early…. there may be two, who knows. Anyways, the reason I’m doing it early is because this opportunity was just too good to miss. A friend posted the second article mentioned on facebook and in particular, one sentence made me laugh. No one actually says “dismembered member” in real life! It’s just too funny! Then looking at that article, I noticed how many connected or similar stories they have listed which lead to this post being created tonight – people have a STRANGE fascination with mutilating dicks!

‘This is not the first time the giant penis has wandered the streets of Finland, and Maennistoe said it was generally well-received. “Most of the people like it very much. They want to come … sit on the balls,” he said.’

Giant penis takes to the streets

 

“Doctors were unable to re-attach the dismembered member because villagers could not find it.”

Jilted Javan teen chops off penis and tosses it down a well

 

And whilst on the web looking at the similar articles links I found this disturbing one from 2008:

‘A Chinese woman killed her husband in his sleep, cut off his penis and placed it in the bed of their six year old son as a warning to him not to be unfaithful.’

Chinese mum chops willy

 

And there are more articles that are similar and the list just goes on and on with connected article after connected article! Heck, they even have a photo gallery for penis slasher victims and attackers!

Man’s genitals glued by three scorned lovers

‘Penis-burning wife’ Rajini Narayan set for murder trial in SA Supreme Court

Man cuts off penis over wife choice

Greek woman sets fire to British tourist’s genitals     –> (NOTE: except she was considered a hero and not crazy!!)

Gunman shoots his manhood   –> (he was just fucking stupid hahaha)

And believe me, there’s many many more. I remember the first time I ever heard of something like this, it was a man who had run into a random restaurant, jumped on a table, whipped it out and tried to cut it off with a bread knife. Somehow, he actually managed to succeed and lopped it off. I think he possibly passed out from blood loss after that. The staff at the restaurant rushed him to emergency and took his useless wang with them. Surprisingly, doctors managed to sew it back on fine. Lucky man…. I guess…. Some people are just fucking crazy.

March 31, 2010 Posted by | Quote of the Week, weird | 3 Comments

A Strange and Haunting Dream of Floating Bodies and the Colour Purple

I’m writing this down so that I don’t forget it… although I have already had one small sleep between the actual dream itself so now it is becoming hazy… ok no, jut trying to think of a spot to start at is making me remember random things that I’m now trying to figure out how the heck they tied in.

It started with myself and my family going to the beach on sunny day. My aunt asked me to look after her kid who was around 2 years old –  a little boy who I can’t remember the name of now, but for the purpose of this I shall call him Reed (the name of my smallest male cousin who is 2). I was putting sunscreen on him and one of my other cousins cousin who is around 11 (Joel). I asked my Boss (I think it was my Boss, but I’m not sure – it may have been another male that was there with me)  to look after Reed for 2 seconds while I finished putting sunscreen on Joel’s arms. During that time my Boss put Reed bak down on the sand in his nappie and walked off. Reed gave me this mischievous look when I looked in his direction and then bolted straight for the water.

I screamed after Reed and got up as fast as I could, pushing Joel slightly out of the way so I could run after Reed. I tried to grab him a couple of times but he was either just out of reach or when I lunged I ended up tripping over in the sand and water. Reed managed to make it under the water and he didn’t resurface. By this point in time I’m screaming hysterically for him and diving under the water looking for him and his tiny body (at this point in the dream he as now wearing a little top with thick red and white stripes and blue pants). At one point when I went under the water, I screamed because I saw some red and white floating material in my peripherals to the right – floating in that eery was that clothes do on a dead person underwater – but when I turned it was gone. I came back up to the surface and Joel’s older brother was there, Mitchell, asking what was wrong. He seemed so calm though and didn’t really care. I dived underwater another couple of times frantically looking for Reed but I couldn’t find him. 

Then the my memory skips a bit to a part where I’m in the bathrooms of a school (supposedly my school) with some friends and we were changing our uniforms (which were different – more like a private schools with small pleated tartan skirts and white blouses). We were in the middle of a relatively normal conversation and then it was like my memory remembered it was in the middle of a different dream and skipped back to the one about Reed. In the middle of the conversation with the girls I randomly blurted out “I can’t do this, I’ve got to go back and look for Reed more!” So then I ran out of the bathroom into the corridor (which was a very gothic build with rounded stone archways and pillars).

Then my dream did one of those split decision things where one second it’s one thing and the next it’s something else. This time, it was a gigantic humpback whale leaping out of the water and crashing back down (because the ocean was deep and right in front of the pillars, like as if the school was built over the sea); and the next second on the other side of the pillars I was looking at the view of the beach that I used to get from the old club house when I did Surf Club years ago. So I ran down the beach and went to look for Reed’s body again.

Then my memory of the dream lapses for a bit and the rest is in bits and pieces. Let’s keep in mind I had this dream at least 4 hours ago now, I had a dreamless sleep afterwards, and the dream itself was broken up about 3 or 4 times (yes I’m weird like that where I can wake up, go back to sleep and back to the same dream). From here on in it’s fuzzy and bits overlap.

So then I remember being upstairs in my house and talking to someone – possibly my sister – when I glanced out the window and noticed there was a floating red shape in the pool. When I looked properly I realised that it was a floating baby upside down in the water with the same shirt Reed had had on. So of course I screamed his name and then dashed down stairs and outside to get him. Of course, by this stage he was well and truly dead and rigor mortis had set in – don’t ask me how the hell he ended up in my pool considering we never found him at the beach. I don’t remember picking him up, but I’m pretty sure I did and then he was placed on the table outside. It was very strange.

By this stage the rest of my family was out the back sitting down the other end of the table talking and I had to finally talk to my aunt and family about the whole thing (even though they’d all been there at the time). I was crying I remember that. Now it goes in two directions and I’m not sure which comes first.

Part One.

We were all talking and by this stage we were suspicious and trying to figure out the conspiracy that was going on. When we were going over the events of what had really happened that day, I had to correct them – I’d always taken the blame for losing Reed and  never mentioned the fact that I’d asked someone else to look after him for a couple of minutes and they’d abandoned him. At this point I did speak up though (rather dramatically with pauses and everything I might add). I said it was Mitchell and looked at him where he was sitting quietly down the end (yes at this point it was no longer my Boss, but my cousin Mitchell who had done it). He cast me an evil look and argued with something else, but I can’t remember it all.

Part Two

At some point while we were all talking we noticed slight movement of of Reed’s hands. Turned out he was alive – don’t ask me how, but he was. Then it skipped a bit and all of a sudden Reed wasn’t the little dead baby but he was in fact a seedy man of around 40 years old and he was claiming to be Reed. Everyone else was amazed he was alive and it seemed only I could see how it was false. It was supposed to be 17 years later or something – well that’s what the bad guys tried to convince us of later on – except we were all the same age and in the same place we’d been a split second ago… go figure. It really just did not add up.

But anyways, point is, Reed supposedly wasn’t dead, and we were now caught in a very suspicious conspiracy which I was determined to figure out. My mind is really almost gone now, so this last part should be quick.

We set up a group of us who began to research and look into who this guy claiming to be Reed and his friends were. They were like mobsters or something, and we began a court trial to try and frame them for Reed’s murder (don’t know how it jumped to being murder, but it did).We didn’t seem to have any sufficient evidence against they’re group even though we new that they were plainly guilty of it. We had a little secret meeting room where we would try and figure out more evidence because we had to be careful in case either the mobsters listened in or they tried to kill us if they knew where we were and that we knew too much.

One day when everyone else had left the meeting and I was just about to walk out the door, the head of our group (an older professor from our school) called me back and told me to meet him in a certain room  at a certain time because he had something to show me. It had gotten to the point where we could trust very few people and us two were the only ones left who weren’t doubtable. So I agreed and went.

When I got there he was leaning against the window looking outwards with a little girl around 11 years old standing a few meters away in silence. they both turned to face me as I entered the room and shut the door. She was a pretty girl with dark brown hair in two long braids down her side, big shiny brown eyes, creamy to dark skin, and wearing a purple dress with white petticoats. The professor introduced me to her, I think her name was something like Marianne and she simply handed me a tape. He then told me that this was the most important thing we could find and that it was all over now, but I had to guard it with my life and tell no one. I agreed, curious, and the next thing I remember is being alone in that room and watching the tape. I didn’t watch it all because if I spent too long watching it then someone would find me and kill me for it, but I did watch the beginning of it.

I knew it had multiple stories on it. Marianne had collected them somehow. It’s not at all really possible, but hey, this was a dream, so anything is possible. Marianne was the first story on there and it was like I was hit with a vision, not really watching on tv – I seemed to see it with my mind (if you’ve seen Minority report then the vision was very choppy and dark like the ones in that film). It began with her story and I can’t remember it all now, but she was a poor girl from a destitute family, and she had been offered these purple silk shoes that were like ballet slippers by this man. The image that accompanied the voiceover started with the shot at her feet. The first foot you saw was wearing a ragged shoe and you could tell it was what her normal life was like, and then it seemed that the other foot floated into view and it was wearing the most beautiful purple silk ballet slipper with ribbons wrapping around the ankle.

Then the shot slowly floated so that the rest of her body was in view as well. It was at this point that you realised that you were in the ocean and looking from below her body as it floated lifeless and pale, dark hair floating loosely and in stark contrast. The purple silk shoe was matched by a once beautiful and vibrant purple dress, which was now in tatters and drifting around her corpse. Somehow in the story that Marianne seemed to be telling as a voiceover whilst showing me these images, I also learned who it was that had done it, how they had done it and how many other people they had done it to. 

Once I knew this I turned it off, grabbed the tape and the papers I had with the most important information on them and ran for it. It was the only copy and it was all I needed. I don’t know where I was supposed to be going, all I know i that I didn’t trust anybody. At some point I ran into my cousin Joel (the 11 year old cousin) who had been on my team the whole time, and he somehow knew about the tape and said that I should let him take the tape to the courts. There was something about the way that he said and was so persistent  that I didn’t trust, so I kept saying no and clutching it tighter to me as I tried to get away. He then turned on me and told me with a snarl that it was already over and that I could never win against their gang.

There’s a big black patch after that, although I do remember at one point I realised that to be able to win this, I was probably going to die. It was like I had a moment of realisation and acceptance. Then the last scene of the dream was in the court room and the mobsters had been found guilty. it was like at the end of a movie when the main character dies and it’s because of them that the final happy ending is reached – their sacrifice  solves the mystery. The pictures of all the innocent kids that had been killed were shown on polaroids – all of them drowned. The last one that was shown was a close up of a face with the eyes shut in death and the hair waving in every direction with the currents of the water. They said her name was Chloe and it was supposed to be my character throughout the dream.  

I don’t know how it was all solved – how the professor got the tape back or the folded pieces of paper I’d had with me, but he was the only one sitting at the bench where I’d used to argue from. It seemed like he was the only one left from our team after betrayal and murder. He sat alone and still clutching the last piece of paper I remember having as everyone else bustled around him at the end of the hearing. That image as the shot faded out into the distance is the last one I remember from the dream.

I have strange dreams for sure, and they usually play out like a movie, but never are they so clear and haunting, or strong when it comes to the actual narrative. I’m well over wondering what my dreams mean. they’re always so odd, that if I tried to read them for some hidden meaning, I’d probably end up being sent to a loony bin for being paranoid about being killed by one thing or another. This one was definitely strange though. The image of a drifting body underwater is persistent and eerie. It’s plaguing my mind now along with the image of that purple shoe floating. It was very like the scene in Minority Report where Anne Lively’s body is drifting underwater and the only colour used amongst the monotone vision is the stark red. But I haven’t been thinking about Minority Report lately, so why are there so many similarities…?

June 25, 2009 Posted by | dreams, sleep, weird | Leave a comment

Unknown Art

On Sundays, when I go to work I park on the streets because there is free parking and I usually go to the same street every week. Walking to and from there every week means that I go past the same buildings and there has always been one building with has either very few things or nothing in it. However lately while it is up for rent, an artist is currently using it as a studio. Whoever they are (I think it’s possibly the guy that I’ve seen there once), I admire their work and it fascinates me.

IMG00767

This is the front window of the place, which is how I can see into the studio. Hanging in the window they have put up  banner of papers saying “ish” over and over again, and also a poster of  two men (possibly middle eastern?) who are walking in the street. I couldn’t get a clear photo of that, seeing as I was only using my phone.

artist unknown

IMG00765Inside on the left side of the room they have a whole line of bikes, an old tv and this wooden cut out of a man (I think it could possibly supposed to be Jimmy Dean). Freaked me out the first few times I saw it because I thought it was a real man staring straight out the window at me.

On the right side of the room there’s more bikes and there is this painting that they’ve created, which I love. I think the reason is just because I’m a big fan of the whole messy style of art. I think if you can manage to put a million elements together in the dirtiest and messiest way, and still manage to make it all balance out and look right, then you’ve created a genius piece.

Robert Rauschenberg (a 20th Century american artist), was always one of my biggest influences as an artist. Among my favourites of his are Rebus, the Soviet American Array III, and  Booster. The last one was one his first works that I got to see at the National Art Gallery and I was in love. He combines a lot of techniques I love such as using newspaper, scraps, paint drips, scribbles, charcoal, layering, montage, etc. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, Rauschenburg died in early May last year.

Here’s the close up of the detail on the actual unknown painting itself at this studio I found:

The unknown painting...

June 21, 2009 Posted by | art, street art, weird | 1 Comment