…entre nous soit dit…

between me you and the gatepost.

The Air.

I’ve just spent the last 2 hours outside in the hammock out the back of the house. Freezing cold and without a blanket, but it was comforting somehow. It took me that long to figure out what it was that made it both so nice and yet so eerie out there tonight: the air.
Tonight there is not even a single wisp of breeze around my house. It’s completely and utterly still. That in it’s own right is quite amazing. When I was in Paris I had the most vivid memory of walking down the street late at night back to our apartment and the weather was perfect. It was the air. It’s so hard to describe what cold still air feels like, it’s not heavy and moist, but it feels almost fluffy and light. That’s the only way I know how to describe it: it feels light.
Tonight is no different. It’s perfect.
Of course there’s a world of difference between the lamp lit cobbled streets of old Pari, and the tree filled backyard of suburbia where I am on the other side of the world. Tree’s and plants should sway with breezes. They shouldn’t be still and immobile. It looks unnatural and eerie – especially in the dark with only the light star filled sky behind to illuminate them.

May 18, 2009 Posted by | epiphany, wind | Leave a comment

Sick Days

This is sort of old now (in fact its from the 6th of September)… but I thought I would include it anyway and post it up:

For the past week I have been suffering from illnesses hitting me left right and center: sinus infections, sore throat, blocked ears, conjunctivitis, coughing, and worst of all, severe fatigue. Now, I’m no stranger to being ill. I maintain that sinus infections is just like a compulsory thing for me these days. It seems to reoccur very three or so weeks much to my annoyance.

However, this last week is probably the sickest I have been all year – I’ve spent practically the whole week in bed asleep or if I haven’t been asleep (which wasn’t very often) then I was on the couch watching tv because mum wouldn’t let me go to sleep again. I’ve never slept so much in one week in my life. On the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday alone I would have slept more collectively than I normally would over the space of a few weeks!

But now it is the weekend, and besides now being a whole entire week behind in school work (which is a monstrous amount these days),  I have finally realised why I have felt so strange in particular these last couple of days.

My lacking of energy, due to being sick, not using my muscles (because I’ve been sleeping so excessively) and not eating very much, has prevented me from doing anything outside of the house. I went to school for a couple of hours on Thursday, but that has been my only trip to the outside world really (not including the car rides to the doctors).

So just now, I decided I would go outside.

It’s a beautiful day. The kind of day where you can just stare at one piece of nature, and if you mind can appreciate it, it can fascinate you for ages. The sky is a wide clear blue expanse that isn’t blemished even once by a cloud in sight. The grass is just entering the stages of beginning to tinge brown as spring begins to set in, and the birds are all out chirping and drifting on the gentle breeze which always seems to be there.

If there’s one thing that I absolutely love, it’s the wind.

I know it sounds corny, but I’ve always thought there was something magical about it. The way you can feel it, and smell it and even hear it through the trees. Yet you can never see it. I always thought that if there was a way to feel your loved ones after they passed then I thought that was it – the wind.

I think the best feeling in the world when outside is just sitting, with your back to the sun for it’s warmth with a gentle breeze blowing sideways. If you can just sit, close you eyes and appreciate that feeling – the combination of warmth, light, cool and movement – then you’ll find some sort of peace within yourself.  Because if you can truly stop long enough to appreciate it properly, think about it and really breathe it in, then you’ve stopped worrying about everything else in the world that isn’t as perfect as that moment.

I would stay stuck in this moment if I could.

But then I know I would miss out on other joys – like rain.

October 21, 2008 Posted by | beautiful, life, rain, sick, sleep, sun, wind | Leave a comment